Monday, September 30, 2013

Fertility Drugs & Storks

I never thought our journey to conceive would be so....Inconceivable

I thought babies came from.... 

And not so much...

I mean, I know that they do come from above.
I know that no amount of tests, procedures or drugs can bring a baby into this life without it being part of God's plan. 

I guess I just never thought that I would be one of those women.
The women who aren't just inherently fertile
I thought I would be the other kind of woman...
The kind who can just pop out babies without much worry...

Obviously that was God's plan for them.
And more obviously, it is not His plan for me.

I had never really given infertility treatments much thought until, well, I struggled with it.
Do we try IVF? 
How far do we go?
How much do want to spend?
Do we want to adopt?
But most importantly, what can we do AND still be trusting in God? 

In the scheme of things, 2 years of trying isn't that long. 
However, with some previous medical complications, it does make one anxious... 
And with many friends having babies, it seems like it might never be our time.
And it really might not ever be our time.
But that doesn't mean that we cannot raise a family! 
Matt and I will adopt if we are given that opportunity. 
But we do want to try and have a little one.

A friend once told me something that really struck me, really touched me.
They told me that I was a very special person, that I was smart, gifted, beautiful.
That I had so many great traits and characteristics
That my husband did too, that we were both very wonderful
And then said, "the world needs more of that in it"
Why would we not want a little baby made from us? :) 
I pray that it is in our plan, because I would surely love it. 

So today, we start clomid.
It will be our first treatment. 
We have had tests and procedures, all which were normal and for the most part non-invasive.
(Although my husband might disagree, bless his is very loving heart)

So I have been wondering how fertility drugs, fertility treatments, fit into Gods plan...
My pastors wife told me that nothing will change Gods plan - in short, taking a pill will not help us get pregnant if it is not meant to be.
Perhaps we are supposed to be struggling through this, leaning on Him and finding strength and comfort in Him
Perhaps we do need a little help in the scientific part of baby-making, perhaps it's in our plan?
Although in the back of my mind, I think about Sarah, Abrahams wife.
Sarah had trouble trusting in God's plan for her.
She was impatient, she didn't want to wait for offspring, so she took matters into her own hands.
She had Abraham sleep with Hagar, and Ishmael was born.
She had trouble believing that God will fulfill his promises, so she plunged ahead with her own solutions.
And down the road, she saw the consequences of her actions. 
I do not want to take matters into my own hands... But am I doing that with fertility drugs? 
Or am I taking advantage of the medical advances that God has blessed us with?

Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you", declares The Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

For now, we will take things a step at a time.
We are going to try the clomid, and well, we will see what's next and decide if it is for us.

And in the mean time, we are relaxed, we are not stressed.
We have healthy bodies, compliments to The Lord! 
We have each other, we have our families, we have YOU!

So you really don't need to tell us, "Just relax, it will happen!"
Easy for you to say, not so easy to hear. 

And you don't need to tell us how your friend overcame infertility, because oddly enough she isn't me!

Nor do you need to tell us to just keep practicing...

And you don't need to tell me how fertile you are.... Gee, thanks....

You don't really need to say anything.... Just support us, pray for us, and be there when we might call upon you.
And share your babies with us, because it helps us while we wait. :)

Oh, and thanks for being patient with me... It's still a hard thing to go through
And remember, it's just my hormones talking! 


  1. When I was younger, I'd just start hanging out with a person enough to think, "Golly, she's such a good friend" and they would get married and change all that. Then I started hanging out with married couples more and I'd be in the same place. "They sure are nice." And they'd have a baby and everything would change. I finally just stopped hanging out with people!

    Maybe I've still got it and you need to hang out with me more!

  2. Haha :) maybe there is more to our crocheting plans! :) thanks Shelley!

  3. I just came across your blog. I ran into your same heart concerns when we were trying to conceive. We prayed and debated and then felt at peace with giving Clomid a go. We were on our last round and had been told if that didn't work we'd be sent to a RE. We knew in our hearts that God was not calling us to go further and weade peace with that...God remained faithful and blessed our lives with a baby on that last round. I think the hardest part is making peace with what we want and with what God has for us...even though we know His plans are always better. I look forward to going through more of your blog.

  4. Kristy, thanks for reading!
    I definitely agree, finding peace seems to be a challenge in all of the trials we go through... Im so happy that you guys were able to have your baby. Since this blog post, we have actually become pregnant! On round one of clomid! We are 31 weeks and counting, and cant wait to meet this little baby! God is surely good. If only i could look back and say i never doubted that god would remain faithful... But becoming pregnant was a big lesson learned for me. I now know that if it is in his plans, he will always remain faithful. Even if it takes just a bit longer than we would like.
    Thanks again!

  5. Thank you so much for sharing this! My husband and I are in the same boat, and I have been praying how we should handle this situation God has given us. We start clomid next week, I know that whether we have a baby or not is Gods plan which has made us hesitant to begin this medical journey. I feel that your words are my thoughts and it felt so good to read them!

  6. Thank you for this post. My Husband is a Testicular Cancer Survivor and we're both 36. We got married almost 2 years ago and we knew what we were up against. Cancer and age....time certainly ticks when you get into your mid-30's. My Husband Urologist put him on Clomid to boost his count and I too will begin my first session of Clomid on Friday. It's with much hope and prayers that this is all successful. We also will be trying the IUI as it's more reasonable then IVF. I wish it didn't hurt so bad to see everyone getting pregnant but us.... I chase away those clouds but still they linger. Please keep Jennifer & Roger and your prayers... Again thank you for this! I'm sure you're enjoying your new baby! :)

  7. Ladies, Thank you so much for reading!
    I'm glad that you were able to find some peace or at least common ground in my blog.
    I have you on my prayer lists :)
    I'm so blessed to have been able to become a mother, but I have not forgotten what we went through and I have learned much through my pregnancy and my last 6 months of motherhood.
    I'm especially getting anxious as we talk about trying to conceive again!
    But rereading my own words, I know I must have faith.
    Always thinking and praying for you!

  8. Lindsay,

    I felt like you were inside my head when you wrote this blog. Every thing that you said mirrors my life and emotions to a tee. We have been TTC for one year and I am currently on my 2nd round of clomid. The emotional roller coaster is indescribable and I honestly wouldn't wish it on anyone. I too wondered if I was straying from Gods plan by taking fertility drugs but after a lot of praying and realizing that without clomid we would have no chance of conceiving undecided that this was right for me. I know God has a plan for my life and my family and right now He is bringing me closer to him and getting me right where He wants me. Your post was refreshing to read knowing that someone else was in my exact situation. Many blessings to you and your growing family. Thank you again for sharing your story.


  9. Lauren, I'm so glad you found this post. Infertility is a very hard thing to endure, but God is so much bigger than any obstacle that we may come upon. My faith was surely tested, and I too have become much closer to Him through my journey. There is not a day that goes by that I do not look at my little boy and see His miracle, his promise. I will keep you in my prayers, and I'm so happy to know of such strong women like you!

  10. Lindsay,
    I randomly came across your blog post while searching for Clomid stories on pinterest. I have to admit, I sobbed through the entire thing. It was so refreshing to read that other women have had the exact same experiences and thoughts that I'm having now. My husband and I have been married for almost 2 and a half years and have been TTC for just over a year. We've had routine (non-invasive) tests run and our doctors can't give us any explanations for why we haven't been able to conceive. Therefore, we fall into the incredibly frustrating category of unexplained infertility. We've had so many talks about staying in God's will and where exactly fertility medications fall into God's plan. We've considered giving Clomid a try, but haven't made that jump just yet. It is a daily battle to let go of my sense of control (as if I even had any to begin with) and trust in God's faithfulness. This time in our lives is definitely frustrating. It was an answered prayer to find this blog post. Reading it was like a breath of fresh air. Thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing your story!


    1. Cassie, I'm very happy that you found this blog entry amongst all the other pins! :)
      Unexplained fertility must be so challenging, both physically and emotionally.
      Letting go of control is most definitely the hardest thing. It was so cathartic for me to write this, but so amazing to know that other women are reading it.
      And if you do end up going with clomid, feel free to ask any questions you might have about It or any procedures accompanying it.
      You will be in my thoughts and prayers!

  11. I have a friend who struggles with infertility and it is really sad to see her going through this because of how badly she wants children. All she has ever wanted in life is to be a wife and a mother, but now that she is unable to be a mother, it has been really hard for her. I will have to share the information in this article with her and hopefully she will be able to use these tips. Do you have any tips or advice on how to get pregnant that I could share with my friend?

  12. I recently found many useful information in your website especially this blog page. Among the lots of comments on your articles. Thanks for sharing.
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  13. I have been googling "fertility treatment and God" I have what is called sub fertility. I have a Child from a previous relationship. she will be 10yrs in July. I have been married for 2.5 years and no pregnancy. I took a course of Clomiphenne in my first month of marriage - nil preggs. My Husband en I decided to wait on God, well I guess he wants us to get up and do something. We went to the clinic and we found that my tubes are actually blocked after some abdominal TB treatment some years back. 2 abdominal surguries, one for the TB en another removal of a free flowing cyst. I also felt as though God would not be happy if I went for fertility treatment and this blog was answered prayer dropped right in front of me. Thank you Jesus for you Lindsay. All honor and Glory are indeed his. I have just discovered My God has a great sense of humor. Thank you for reaching out and truly putting Pen and paper together and thus God chose to use you for us. Please pray for me. My husband and I start fertility treatment in August. Indeed he knows the plans he has for us.....God bless you and your family

    1. I am so glad that through God &Google you found this blog post. All the Glory be to Him for sure! I know that my children are true miracles, and that they were handmade by Him just for me. I will pray for you daily, I will pray for your health and for your family, I will pray that God listens to the desires of your heart and I will pray that you will find happiness and comfort in His plan for you. ❤️🙏🏻

  14. I have been googling fertility treatment. I have taken Clomid and my husband takes it. We are going to do our first iui. I am claiming to become pregnant after that in the name of Jesus. Please pray for my husband and I. ��‍♂️��‍♂️